Do You Feel Used and Unappreciated in Your Relationship or Marriage?
How do you decide what to do and not to do for our partner? If you feel like you are always giving and not receiving, you may be giving it too much. Moreover, if you don’t feel appreciated in your marriage, the feeling is worse.
So, should we just do the things that we want to without giving any thought about our partner?
Suppose, you work for a company and they give you a paycheck and appreciate you for your work, you don’t think about your work or you tend to be happy. But what if they don’t give you any paycheck or appreciated, you would feel cheated right? Likewise, in a relationship, you have some expectations from your partner. And when these expectations are not met, you might feel neglected and unappreciated. And if this keeps happening in a relationship, there are chances that your marriage or relationship will get ruined. Resentment or a sense of unfairness created emotional distance and distance can kill the relationship.
Its human nature to crave for positive attention and appreciating someone is the best way to go about it. The actual problems starts when partners start taking each other for granted and stop appreciating each other, This leads to further problems such as-arguments, frustration, resentment, and suddenly the relationship doesn’t seem to work out.
Appreciation is a key to relationship. Appreciating someone makes them feel good about themselves and they feel motivated and moreover, it might strengthen your relationship.
We, generally, put more emphasis on other elements in a relationship, like, understanding; loyal, honest, supportive, caring, and other but appreciation is often undervalued. The importance of being appreciated by your partner gets lost in the shuffle. And if there is no appreciation in the relationship, you can never feel fully connected with your partner.
When you don’t feel appreciated by your partner, communication is the key. Tell him/her you are not feeling right, and let your partner know that he/she never appreciated you for whatever you do. This might sound awkward to you but to make your relationship work, you will have to take this step. It is necessary to hold them accountable for the role that they are playing.
It’s important to feel appreciated in your relationship or marriage. Being acknowledged for the things you do for your partner or even just for being yourself are important. And if you feel like your partner is taking for granted, it’s vital to speak up.
Here are some signs of feeling unappreciated:
- When you start feeling “invisible” to those who are close to you
- Staying in an environment simply because it’s comfortable or familiar, not because you derive meaning from it
- When you start listening “too busy” more often and feel ignored
- When a relationship is only maintained by you and your partner takes the relationship for granted
- When you start getting feelings of resentment towards the other person
- When you start feeling that you are the only one who is always giving
- When you feel like an intruder on the other person’s time and skills
- When you start getting feeling that you are not adding any value to the other person’s life
How do you show appreciation to your partner?
Here are some of the ways in which you can show some appreciation towards your partner:
- Be attentive
Pay full attention when your partner speaks with you and make sure you maintain eye contact while talking to your partner. This assures them that you appreciate whatever it is that they have to tell you.
- Small Gestures
Thanking them for little things makes a big difference. Appreciate them if they cook for you, iron your clothes, wash your clothes, or any chores. This will make a big difference. Appreciating would add value to your relationship and tell your partner about it regularly.
- Don’t take them for granted
Let your partner know that you don’t take them for granted just because they have been doing something every other day. You can say, “I really appreciate you doing the dishes every night after the meal” or “I love you the way you do things for me”. These are a few liners that you can tell your partner and let them know how much you appreciate them.
You should also appreciate them for being there with you through ups and downs. Your partner is the one who is devoting his/her time in you more than anyone else.
- Acknowledge what you love about your partner
You can compliment simple things- “I love that dress of yours, you look gorgeous in that dress”. This is just one example, you can also acknowledge on their effort, their job, their advice or suggestions, or be it anything. Make sure you notice these small things and make them feel happy.
- Express your love regularly
The most important is to appreciate and express your love for your partner regularly. Healthy and successful relationships are the ones that keep growing and when it comes to love, appreciating and acknowledging someone is never enough.
It is crucial to make the person who is your partner your priority. Do not let anyone or anything get in the way of making time for your partner and giving appreciation.
- Public Acknowledgement
Appreciation and acts of kindness can communicate love and affection in unique ways. However, public acknowledgment can create a new sense of gratitude.
Appreciating your spouse is a binding factor in any relationship. Showing your spouse you value them and appreciate them can be challenging. But, we know that every person loves to receive affection and appreciation may be in different ways. So, to have a healthy and successful relationship or marriage, do not let your partner feel unappreciated, thank them, appreciate them even if it’s a small thing. Small gestures count a lot in a relationship!