Ups and downs are a part of every relationship, in some cases, though, both the partners are perfect still they go through a split. To get back to normal behaviour after going through a severe emotional breakdown isn’t easy. But as we are stepping into a new year, we present before you some points which will surely help you to attain confidence before you move into a new relationship, so let’s have a look.
Holding on the grudges and the fears which you got gifted from the last relationship won’t let you survive. You surely need to work on getting rid of what has happened in the past. Not all the people are the same and not all the people are cheaters. Pull yourself out and prevent yourself from sticking to the old memories. When there can be a new morning after night then why can’t there be an original you after a hurdle. The worst aspect of not giving yourself a second chance is that even if you try indulging in a new relationship, then your insecurities which you have developed from the last relationship won’t let this relation of yours survive. Your mind will always keep pondering to the question “what if this relationship also turns the same as that of the last relationship”.
If you are still trying to figure out the ways to move away from what had happened in the past then Toombs gives you an amazing solution “pen down all the thoughts in a letter, to the person who hurt you, be as much clear as you can, and finally flush the letter or burn the letter” don’t even try to look back to what you have burnt, or what you have left behind.
If you are still busy figuring out the flaws which resulted at the end of your relationship, then you are doing nothing except punishing yourself for the crime which you never committed. Hurting yourself will let you to nowhere, you should understand the fact that it’s not only you who have suffered a loss, and even that person has lost a mad lover from their life. Feel happy about what you are an accept yourself; no other person will worry about you if you yourself are busy in cursing your soul. It’s not the thing that if you are looking for the mistakes you did is wrong, but it’s a new year already, and you have to work on caressing your mind and heart to come out of the pain of the previous relationship. Enjoy what you are, it’s better that things ended before getting worse. Everyone needs a partner with whom he/she cherishes all moments, the one who properly looks after him/her, and if you are the one who always cried because of your relationship than such partner doesn’t deserve to be a part of your life.
If you have already been through an emotional breakdown in the last year because of your relationship, then shift your focus on your goals this New Year. At the start of the year, it’s better to indulge yourself in what you want to achieve. Invest time in improving your strength towards your goals. Life moves in a sphere you fall; you stand; you create yourself, and finally, you observe things coming to your way. The end of your relationship should not affect the success of your life. Shift your mind from love affairs and be sensible enough towards things which can actually help in forming a new you. You can’t change yourself overnight, but you can surely give time to yourself for bringing about a change in you.
Let this New Year be all about you and your motives. Focus on the good things coming to your way. Goals help you in framing the steps of your life; you are now a step ahead from the things which ruined your concentration from what you want to achieve.
You are already on a new start, but this time you need to be clear about what all things you aspire from your relationship. Maybe the reason behind the breakup of your last relationship was that you never tried to describe your wants and you were the one who made many sacrifices just to keep your relationship moving. Now as you have left all the things which bind you in a difficult way, it’s your time to decide what you are aspiring from a new relationship. Whatever you want, if your partner isn’t working on those points then better remind him/her the ways he should be moving to keep the relationship healthy. Once you start neglecting your aspiration, just because of the comfort of your partner then again you will end up getting hurt. When we fall for someone we make certain compromises, and to some extent making compromises for your loved ones isn’t bad, but you should always be aware of the limit of sacrifices you are making. If you are blindly putting out all your basic needs for your partner, then be sure if you are getting something less than what you deserve then you are the one responsible for it.
One of the most basic mistakes one do while suffering from a break up is that they focus more on the hardship of the times rather than calming their mind to pick out the mistakes they have committed in their last year relationship. To make the hard times easier what solution they come up is to move in a new relationship. Well, without correcting yourself to move in a new relationship is the most pathetic thing you will be doing to make another of your relationship fail. You should accept that there were flaws in your relationship which resulted in the breakup. So before coming moving ahead, it’s better to realize the shortcomings and fix it in your mind not to repeat them. Before accepting a new proposal be transparent about your thinking, what all you demand, the level of seriousness you have towards a relationship. If time issues were the reason for the breakup of your last relationship, then you definitely don’t want a person who is too busy with work.
If you think you have already ruined yourself by getting too much attached to a person who didn’t bother about you, then this year don’t put your hope down. Multiple dating can help you out to bring your search for a perfect partner to an end. If in your earlier relationship you devoted yourself too much and now you feel the need of a person who can pamper you in all ways and also brightens up all the expectations, you have from your relationship than prefer the option of multiple dating. How does multiple dating works? You are being in a good connection with more than one person, and you are under no commitment with them. You hang out with them, talk to them and pick up the one to be committed with whose company you enjoy the most and whose behaviour was the perfect one for you. The biggest advantage of multiple dating is that you have enough time to observe the behaviour of the person before coming into any sort of commitment. At any point if you feel the person isn’t up to your mark, or if you feel that the person isn’t showing any kind of interest then you still have many options present before you.
Well, multiple dating should never become manipulative, you have to choose one person to be committed with, and if you are using this strategy just for the sake of time pass, then you may have to suffer.
No doubt keeping up with goals is a great thing, and finishing up within the targeted time is simply good for all. But the strategy of timeline doesn’t work in the context of relationships. Their no specific age of finding true love for you, some people find it early will some people have to wait till their 60’s. If you feel that by 20’s you will move in a relationship and by the end of 30’s you will get married to the same person, and if your plan doesn’t work as per your wish then you will inevitably end up getting disappointed. Don’t stick to the time limit in the case of dating, because of your time goals you will start getting the feel of office work in your relationship. Don’t be too quick in making a decision, like if you meet a person and have started talking to them and have moved in a relationship with them then don’t start imagining your married life with that person.
If you are setting a goal of finding your partner before a specific age than any break up will make you dishearten which will naturally give you the feeling of low confidence.