What you need to know about Spousal Abandonment Syndrome
Spousal Abandonment Syndrome is when one of the partners leaves the marriage without saying anything or leaving any warning to the other partner. In this syndrome, the spouse does not show any sign of unhappiness and discontent with the relationship.
With Spousal Abandonment, there is no sign that one of the partners is frustrated or show any sign of divorce. They just leave the relationship without any notice.
Spousal Abandonment Syndrome generally happens with the long-term marriages or relationships. Many of these couples are viewed as the happiest couples by others, but it is not so. Even the other partner is not aware of his/her partner’s abandonment syndrome.
It often seems that the “abandon” spouse might have bottled up the feelings over the years and might have been planning to get over the relationship and finding someone new. Most of the times they indulge in an affair, hence, leave the previous relationship.
This situation leaves the unwary spouse with confusion and chaos in their lives, it gets really difficult for them to accept the fact as everything was normal and suddenly, you don’t hear from your partner.
Suppose, you and your partner are enjoying a special dinner with healthy and fun conversation. The next day he/she leaves for the office as usual but your partner does not return. You called your partner’s friends, office colleagues and searched everywhere but did not find. And suddenly, you realise you have been abandoned. How would you feel?
You just don’t know what just happened.
The first reaction would be utter disbelief as you will not be able to digest the fact. You actually never saw this would come as you were leading a happy married life. You would go back to every single moment to understand what actually went wrong and when you don’t find answers you lose hope.
This abandonment leaves the other partner depressed and lonely.
What are some of the common traits of the partners who abandon their marriage?
- They generally work in societally-approved professions and are successful in their work.
- They have kept their feelings intact and never showed they are not happy in the marriage. They are in the relationship just for the sake of it.
- They are indulged in an extra-marital affair.
- They play the blame-game. They don’t take responsibility for their actions, instead blame the other partner as their marriage was a disaster.
What are the Emotional Effects of Abandonment?
Losing a spouse without any signs leaves the person with grief and sorrow. Spousal Abandonment is all about loss. You were physically and emotionally attached to your partner and suddenly he leaves you without closure or any explanations. This has a huge emotional impact on anyone’s life.
Why Spousal Abandonment when you can go for a legal separation
There are times when marriage might not be working out or one of the partners is not happy in the relationship. But this does not mean that the partner can walk away without any warning signs. Abandoning your spouse means you are walking away with the difficulties and leaving your spouse with complications.
Spousal Abandonment causes more problems than solving the issue in a relationship. If one of the partners feel that marriage is not working out, he/she should go for a legal separation than abandon their partner. This would be a better course of action.
Spousal Abandonment Syndrome is jarring and scary. And it does happen. And the scariest part is that you just don’t know what went wrong in the relationship and why your partner simply abandoned you for no reason.
This is not easy!
How to deal with Emotional aspects of Spousal Abandonment?
It gets really difficult to deal with the emotional aspects of spousal abandonment. You need to talk to your closed ones about this and try to move on. And if you are unable to move on, you should definitely seek the help of a counselor. Seeking help from the counselor would allow you to release your grief and all the frustrations. The counselor will provide you with emotional support and advise you to be your best and how to get away with the situation.